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You never made me feel like I couldn't be a "mother" to your ren, which meant the world to me! I so badly wanted to be their mother too. You know I would never try to replace her, but I loved them as if they were mine, and I wanted to provide for them as much as you! Your daughter was the missing piece to my heart. It's like the saying, "A fills a hole in your heart that you never knew was there." Well that was B! Some people are meant to have , well I'm meant to have a daughter! She made me feel something that I have never felt before! Don't get me wrongsexy local Alsey Illinois women though, single sexy athletic Kilmarnock guyswith hair lol I could never live without either of the boys, mine or yours. It's just a different feeling when you're a women and you have a daughter versus a son. I miss them both deeply, even now. Those nights at your house are still some of the best times I have ever had, especially that night we went for a walk. The x of us really felt like a family! I'll never forget that! That last night with you is forever imprinted in my mind....more for good reasons than bad....but also because as I drove home that night, I realized it was good-bye. You know the good reasons, the passion between us that at least for me, has never been duplicated! That night was straight out of a dream for me, something I had always wanted but had never gotten until you! To be truthful....I knew when you were packing for the next day's trip, that things were over. You were suddenly different, your mood, the things you said....I know why. When I left without you giving me a house key, I knew right then that I wouldn't see you for a long time, if ever. When you didn't the next day, I knew I was right. I knew the warning signs....and oddly enough I believe you when you say you bailed because you couldn't handle knowing that you loved me more than you ever had anyone else. For me, knowing that feeling of "this is it, this is love" is what kept me going, kept me craving you. But I know what you have gone through in your life, and I can only imagine that finding me was a harsh realization because it changed what you had always thought before. For that reason I hold no grudges. Seeing you a month ago brought back everything for me, the good and the bad. The painful memory of that last night, yet also the good memory of it. You made me realize that I can't lose you again. I refuse to give up the family that I have always wanted! You, B & T are what I want! I can't live without having you in my life. I know the circumstances have changed....and as much as I would hate to be the reason for things dissolving with you and her, I cant sit back and calmly say I would be upset if they did. I will not give up on you. You and the have my heart and always have since that first meeting! You have taught me that my dreams are reality...it's just now achieving them again that I have to wait for.....and I will wait! I'm sorry I never tried hard enough to contact you again. I had looked on your f the xxx time and saw you were engaged. That should have been my time to step in. Instead I did something I have never d xxx ..I turned away and forgot about you. I kick myself every day for that cowardly decision, for it's just as much out of my character as it is something that I will always regret. I guess that's xxx lesson I had to learn the hard way! I love you with all of my heart! I will never let you go again and I can only hope that when you say the same, you truly mean it! < x a friend in Palaia

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